A Writer's Paradox

It is the time I wait for and the time I dread.  That magical time when I can write The End to a novel length manuscript.  But am I alone in this feeling of emptiness when it all ends? I bet F Scott Fitzgerald or Ernest Hemingway never had this problem when they finished a book.

For the past year I have started my day knowing exactly what I will be doing, when and where.  I could be writing a new chapter or rewriting, or polishing up a piece to send to one of my early readers.  I might even be having a morning in the library to check up on some facts before meeting a friend for lunch.  Whatever I was doing it will have involved my novel.

Then one day I wake up and think what am I going to do today?  What happened to a those dreams over the last few months, of the ending, of all the free time I will have to play with words, to read books, to explore the world outside of the four walls of my writer's cave. What's stopping me? Maybe other writers go straight onto the next project. I can't do that, the creative side of my brain has been sucked dry and is withering somewhere in a corner waiting for the inspiration juice to perk it up.

It is May and I am living in Paris. It should be simple to be inspired, I just need to walk round the corner to my local cafe and people watch.  Why the restlessness, the inactivity?

Guilt is perhaps one of the reasons. Guilt of having all this free time while my partner goes out to his nine til five every day.  Or is it simply just a lack of routine?  One thing is for sure, something has to change.
 

Here are six things I am attempting to do this week to shake this feeling - at least into next week;

1. Stop feeling guilty.  There have been many times when I have worked well into the late evening while my partner sat reading or playing his guitar.  I gave up a nine to five to be a full time writer. He has accepted that now I need to do the same.  Despite what writers' interviews would have you believe  writers don't, won't, can't write full time.  There needs to be a bit of, what my old boss called, blue sky thinking.

2. Read poetry, read widely and start making a list of all the new exciting words that crop up in that reading.  At the beginning of this year I began a poetry challenge to read a poem a day and to sample a new poet each week.  So far I have been successful in this challenge, but up until now I was only passively reading. By writing down each new word I become active in my own learning. Not only will this widen my vocabulary but it will also fuel my creative tanks.

3.  Read the internet news and allow taking the luxury of following threads through the forest of news until embroiled in stories I would never normally reach.  Be shocked, be enraged, be sympathetic, be bemused.  whatever it is take it in, from all over the world and learn what is going on around you.

4. Ask someone to write down five words or phrases in your note book and then, over the week write something about each one.  It is quite incredible when the first topic is written down other unrelated ideas jump forward to be added to the list   My partner gave me five topics last night and already the list has doubled.

5.  Be inspired by the masters - read the Paris Review Interviews.  Some of these are pretty old, but reading them is like having a chit chat round the corner with some of the iconic writers of our time.  When I was writing my novel I would often have a sneak read at some of these, now I have time to indulge myself.

6. Have fun with words.   Someone told me before my first novel was published that it was the best time in her writing career. After her debut novel was published she lost some of her love of writing.  I think this is because the pressure is on for a steady performance, but just like any job of work artists have good days and bad days.  The best thing about being a writer is that you are a writer. It is a huge privilege to be able to entertain others using words, but it is an even greater privilege to be able to entertain ourselves   I have now given myself permission to be free with words and to play. It doesn't matter whether anyone else reads them or not.

I Luv Paris (with exceptions) #1 - Le Petit Commerce

I don't know if this is true all over Paris but in 14ème arrondissement Le Petit Commerce is thriving. By that I mean small businesses - bars, restaurants, shops and markets. The High Street in my home town in Fife, as in most Scottish towns, is a continuation of empty shops carrying For Let signs interspersed with a sprinkling of pound shops and charity shops. I have seen no evidence of this type of dereliction in Paris - in fact I have found very few charity shops. In our neighborhood there is a healthy mix of businesses. I can't be sure of all the reasons for this but I can guess a few. 

The biggest factor I see is the absence of large supermarkets. There may be some out of town but within the Périphérique (ring road) boundary there are only small shops. Parisians live in small tenements, often six or seven stories high, without a lift; most don't own a car. It would be very difficult to go to Asda or Tesco, do a large shop, lug it up six flights of stairs and then find a place in your tiny galley kitchen to store the food.  Parisians seem to enjoy the art of shopping. Why shop in one pace when you can still buy cheese from a fromagerie, preserved meat from a charcuterie and fish from a poissonnerie. Local loyalty and specialization still rule.

And then there is the French love of fresh bread. On any street at anytime of the day, you will see people carrying home their batons, often tearing the top off to eat on the way because they cant resist that delicious fresh baked warmth. We have three boulangeries in our area. They all display a mouthwatering palate of cakes and pastries and as if by some prior arrangement, they all take a different day's closing. Sundays are a particular favorite with the Parisian cake buyers. Gift wrapped cake boxes are carried home with care, as if the bearer were carrying a new born baby. We have succumbed to this tradition by treating ourselves to a modest tranche of Flan Nature, a cake so delicious it has become my guilty pleasure. 

Next is the availability of good quality open air fresh food markets. On any day of the week there is a fresh food market within five minutes walk of my house. We go each Sunday to the nearest and happily queue for meat, fish, cheese and vegetables and of course like every good Parisian we finish our shop at the fresh flower stall. Although my french is pitiful the stall holders remain cheery and patient and between us we manage to complete the transaction with little variation between what I ask for and what I actually get. 



Groceries can be bought in little franchise supermarkets called Simply, Franprix and Monoprix - the equivalent of UK's Spar shops. The selection is usually varied and there are enough stores around to pick and choose. And as with the markets, the origin of the food is clearly marked and the majority is locally produced. In my first month in Paris I had an overwhelming desire for Scottish Oatcakes. I searched high and low and eventually emailed Nairns who gave me the addresses of three stockist in the centre of Paris but then last week I found the Franprix round the corner now stocks them - result!

Small cafes and bars seem to survive in this hard economic climate. The habit of locals dropping in for a coffee at any time of day must help and the owners' willingness to open at all hours of the day and night must be a contributing factor. Most serve 'formule' meals at reasonable prices and there is often two hour long happy hours on offer. Many have arrangements with huitres (oyster) sellers allowing stalls to set up in front of their bars for one or two days a week when in season. They also double as Tabacs, selling stamps, tobacco and transport tickets.

On the whole the petit shopping experience is very enjoyable but as with everything there is a down side. Many (not all) of the small franchise shops appear to give no customer service training to their staff. The staff look and act miserable all the time, not just with étrangers like me, but with everyone. They appear to hate every minute of their job. In comparison to the cheery stall holders and family run bars I can't help wondering if their conditions of work are very poor and there is a resentment towards the predominantly middle class in the area. Unfortunately it is unlikely I will ever find out. It is a shame because like all the contributors to Le Petit Commerce these stores are providing what their customers want - minus the smile.

Marginalia

This time last week I had no idea that scribbling on books had a name but week three of my poetry challenge ended with Billy Collin's alerting me to the art of Marginalia through his poem of the same name. And with startling synchronicity The Huffington Post ran an article on 22nd January on the same subject.

I am a bit of a book purist and the thought of even dropping a flake of chocolate in the creases of a book brings me out in a clammy sweat.  However the discovery that this is common place, even an art form reminded me of the time when I was thrilled to find scribbling of a superior kind.

It happened when I was researching motivational quotes in Glasgow's majestic Mitchell Library. The only book I could find on Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, thought to be the founder of Taoism, was in the Edwin Morgan Collection. Edwin Morgan, one of Scotland's greatest poets, died in 2010. At the time of my research he was still alive though very ill.  The books in this collection are kept in some special far away place.  A request form is completed and the precious book is brought to you. Pencil only can be used to take notes and I would hate to think what punishment is delivered if the librarians sniff a whiff of ink. The feeling of being watched is unnerving.

With all the high security I was amazed to find in this edition fine spun pencil marks in the body of the text and margins - questions marks, affirmations and the odd additional wise word. I was being treated to a lecture by two great men.  It could be the marginalia did not belong to Edwin Morgan, it did not matter, he allowed the marks to stand and that was enough for me. I assume they are still there and no one has rubbed them out.

Post script on this subject:  Is there an art form of dead finds in books?

Today I opened a borrowed copy of Oscar Wilde's Lord Arthur Savile's Crime and found on page five pressed across the bottom two lines, a very dried, squashed spider. Being a confirmed arachnophobic I could neither destroy the relic or read the page. It gave a whole new meaning to the term page turner.


 Poetry Challenge Update

My week spent with the poems of Billy Collins was a delightful and rich experience and I have no doubt I will return to his slick brand of philosophy some time soon. Thank you Poem Hunter for providing the free ebook of his poems.

In Week Four of my poetry challenge I will explore poet and poem Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám translated by Edward FitzGerald.   The copy I have is a 1909 (3rd edition) of the first version by FitzGerald and is a great find. It cost me £1.00 in the wonderful chaotic bookstore Voltaire and Rousseau in Otago Lane, Glasgow.  The poem can be read in one sitting but I plan to read it many times this week to absorb the beauty of the language and also to learn a little history of the poem and its many manifestations.

Resolutions of a Transient

At the beginning of every year since I don't know when I have listed goals and resolutions and for the most part I have met those goals.

Because I am a realist I don't list goals of weight loss, alcohol reduction and an increase in fitness - these are ongoing battles for me to win and lose.  My annual goals have been around my writing, learning new skills and my garden.  I never realized until this year that goal setting relied on a certain amount of stability and routine.

2013 will be for me a disruptive year. I will probably be spending about 60% of my time in Paris, returning to Scotland only to meet necessary commitments.  I had already resigned myself to the fact that my vegetable garden would have a fallow year and my greenhouse will be used to store logs.

My whistle playing has all but ceased due to the proximity of my neighbours in the Paris 3rd floor apartment and even when I am at home domestic chores take priority over learning new tunes.

My 2013 resolutions needed to be quiet and portable.

Number one is to finish my ongoing novel project.  This is top priority with a self imposed deadline to finish in the first quarter of the year.  I also want to write a rough draft of another novel in November during National Novel Writing Month. This has worked for me in the past so I am ready to give it another whirl.

My learning goal is obvious - improve my terrible French. I try to do a little each day but it is not easy outside of a class.  If the novel goes to plan I intend to enroll in an Alliance Française crash course in the summer.

But I also want to improve my writing.  Long projects can grind me down,  I fall in a rut, sometimes things need spiced up.  I hit upon an idea to read at least one poem a day and choose a new poet every week.  As an ex accountant the numbers appealed to me. It would add up to more than three hundred and sixty five poems and fifty two new poets by the time the bells bring in 2014.

Where to start?  I was away for New Year so chose my first poet from what was available on my Bookeen book reader.  Poems of the Past and the Present by Thomas Hardy included some war poems and seemed a good opener. Many of the poems made me cry, many I couldn't understand but loved the beauty of their language.  My favorites from this collection were The Colonel's Soliloquy, The Mother Mourns and 'I said to Love'.

I don't intend to review the poems I read but hope that by the end of the year I will have a better understanding of form and can learn from the experience of reading varied poets from many eras.







Because many poets are among my Facebook friends I asked there for recommendations.  I now have a list list of about twenty poets.  The over whelming suggestion was for a poet I already had on my list,  Kathleen Jamie.   Her collection The Overhaul has been awarded the Costa Poetry Award 2012 and my copy arrived just as I was leaving for Paris. I started the book on Monday night and it has been difficult not to gobble this masterpiece up in one sitting. It is a delight.  Every poem has merit but The Gather is my favorite. It is gentle of voice yet strong in character and emotion.

Although this is prescribed reading I know I will return to these collections time and again.  The prescriptive nature is necessary to reign in my flighty nature and open up new worlds to me.

Narrative Know How for Safe Space

One snowy December night in Dunfermline I ran a workshop for the charity Safe Space. As part of a fun raising initiative Safe Space are holding a Write-athon.  Novice writers have signed up to write their chosen distance between September 2012 and March 2013.  The races range from 5K (five thousand words) up to Ultra Marathons (fifty two thousand and six hundred words).

Many of the runners had never written for pleasure before.  My challenge was to come up with a workshop that would give helpful information and a sprinkling of inspiration.  I thought back to when I first started creative writing - the thing I had most trouble grasping was narrative point of view.

After our welcome cup of tea and Tunnock's biscuits we settled down to work.

I wanted to keep it simple so I used two paragraph examples from various pieces of fiction to illustrate different types of narrative and encouraged the participants to seek out the full texts.

First Person. I reintroduced the group of one of the most famous 1st person narratives, the wonderful unreliable narrator Holden Caulfield in that old school text The Catcher in the Rye. One of the drawbacks of using first person is the tendency for the reader to believe the piece is autobiographical. This can be avoided by creating a unique narrative voice.

Second Person. Many of the group had never read the second person.  Although it is widely used in song writing it is less common in fiction.  I used Ali Smith's short story Second Person as the example and everyone in the group agreed that they immediately felt complicit in the story.

Third Person Limited.  For this I used my own novel The Incomers where the reader sits on the shoulder of Ellie, the main character, throughout.  I explained it is possible to use alternating Third Person to allow more freedom.  Many of the group felt this was the point of view they were using

Third Person Omniscient.  This was perhaps the best illustration because I could highlight where the point of view shifted within the paragraphs and how the down side of this point of view could be lack of character depth.   The example I used was from The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain.

Exercise  I asked the group to choose one of the examples or a paragraph from their own writing and change the point of view.  Many chose the second person, all found that the change was significant.

We still had some time left before the end of the session and the keen bunch demanded another exercise so I handed out a few paragraphs of Barbara Kingsolver's The Lacuna and explained the Epistolary nature of the narration. Not only that, although it is written in first person the point of view is hard to detect.

Exercise  I asked the group to write a paragraph describing how they made their way to the workshop WITHOUT using the words I or me.    They rose to the challenge and even in the cases where it didn't quite work, everyone picked up on what went wrong.

I hope the workshop helped. If nothing else the participants left the session with a few book recommendations and an appreciation of why wide reading is important to a writer.

The Next Big Thing

 I've been tagged in The Next Big Thing by fellow writer David Ebsworth (website: www.davidebsworth.com and main blog on Goodreads  whose first novel, The Jacobites’ Apprentice, was nominated UK Indie Editor’s Choice for the Historical Novel Society Indie Review.

When I was tagged I didn’t know what NBT was about. Is it like a chain letter - if I don’t participate, a curse will come knocking on my door? Or is it a pyramid scheme where only the first tranche find the pot of gold? David described it as a way to reach another audience through blogging.  That is always a plus so I decided I would give it a crack.

I'm instructed by David to tell you all about my next book by answering these questions and then I tag some other authors to talk about their Next Big Thing. So here goes.

What is the working title of your next book?

The working title is The Mongrel.  I don’t know if that will stick. I will need to see how the later drafts develop.  The Mongrel will be the first of a trilogy.  I have a name for the trilogy too but I’m keeping that to myself just yet.

Where did the idea come from for the book?

The story came to me in a feature length, high definition dream. I originally wrote it in short story form but it didn’t work because the theme was too vast. It is set in Scotland, in the future and I had to create a whole new society. The dream became a story, which grew into a novel and is now a trilogy. It wasn’t the type of book I planned to write, but now I am immersed in my new world I am relishing the freedom it has given me.

What genre does your book fall under?

I hate slotting my work into genre, but the publishing world and booksellers demand it.  My last book The Incomers didn’t fit anywhere and was eventually classed as Scottish Literary Fiction.  That would also fit The Mongrel but because it is set in the future I have no doubt it will be labeled Sci-Fi or Futuristic.  I think this is misleading because it is a very political book and imagines a Scottish/European society that could develop if things go unchecked.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

It’s funny this question is asked.  Early on in the project, to help with the characterizations, I printed off some internet images to fit the characters and pinned them on my study wall.  Only three are famous actors and they are a very youthful, fresh faced Nicole Kidman, Robert Carlyle and Sheila Hancock.  The main character Sorlie’s face is that of a young Scottish actor whose face fits perfectly, but I don’t know his name.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

In a world divided into three enemy super-powers and two class systems, a young orphan boy fights to save an underclass from dilution and in doing so discovers his own horrific heritage.  1984 has been and happened – let’s now worry about 2089.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

My last book The Incomers was published by Fledgling, a small Scottish independent publisher without the aid of an agent. The Incomers was well received and is shortlisted for The Saltire Society First Book Award.  I feel the time might be right to seek an agent to widen the options for The Mongrel, but I may also submit to publishers.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

I used the discipline of National Novel Writing Month to brainstorm the original dream story. By the end of the month I had forty five thousand words written in long hand in two notebooks.  I stuck them in a drawer until I was ready to start another novel. When they resurfaced the first full draft took a year – I am a very slow writer!

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

There are many themes going on in the book so it is hard to pin down similarities with any other books.  I suppose it is a combination of Brave New World (Aldous Huxley), Generation A (Douglas Coupland), Kidnapped (Robert Louis Stevenson) and a terrific non-fiction book about clandestine Naval operation in Shetland during WWII called The Shetland Bus (David Howarth).  Different genres for different reasons.

Who or What inspired you to write this book?

I studied Sociology at University and have always been enraged by inequalities in all societies. After the financial crisis there was lots of talk in this country of "all being in it together and yet the gulf between rich and poor is growing daily.  And despite government spin on environmental targets being met we are continuing to destroy the planet. If things go unchecked we will be in a mess.  For The Mongrel I took the state of the world today and extrapolated (my favorite word) the conditions and created a Scotland in 2089. It is very frightening.

What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?

Although the book sounds grim and all the scenarios I have created are plausible, it is still a hopeful read. I feel the adventure story mixed up with the gritty message will attract readers of all ages. And as in all Shakespearean tragedies, there is a joker in the pack. My joker is called Scud.

Here are some lovely authors I've tagged to tell you about their Next Big Thing …..

Nikki Magennis (http://nikkimagennis.com) is currently working on many projects, novels, short stories and poems.  Her short stories have appeared in over two dozen print anthologies and her first two novels are published by Virgin Black Lace.  She edits FeatherLit, a journal of literary erotica.

Carol Mckay (http://www.carolmckay.co.uk) writes fiction, life writing and some poetry and teaches creative writing.  Her publications include As I lay me down to sleep, a biography co-written with Eileen Munro; Ordinary Domestic: Collected Short Stories and Creative Writing Prompts to Feed the Imagination.  

Uuganaa Purevdori Ramsay 

(http://www.guuye.com http://billybuuz.blogspot.co.uk) was born and grew up in Mongolia. She now lives in Scotland with her husband and children. After she lost her son Billy she started writing a non-fiction book on her childhood in Mongolia and life in Britain. The title of the book is Mongol.

Sue Reid Sexton 

(http://suereidsexton.blogspot.co.uk/  

http://suereidsexton.wix.com/sueweb-2#!) is the author of Mavis's Shoe, a novel about the Clydebank Blitz. She does other stuff too, writes plays, poetry, short stories, more novels, runs workshops and edits other people's work.

Many thanks to David Ebsworth for tagging me. This has been an enriching experience.